The city of Londinium is in a period of civil unrest, but it’s not because the tube is always late, nor is it because of the endless complaints about zombies shedding their limbs in public, or the humans who are tired of trying to eek out a living only to meet a messy end in a dark alley. A new ruler has taken the throne, and if there is one thing the people, both living and undead, hate more than a tyrannical ruler, it’s a secretive one. Yet they are going to have to choose between them since the coronation is only the first in a series of incidents that could lead the population of Great Britain into all out war.
Unaware of the impending doom - referred to within informed circles as ‘just another weekend’ - one man is charged with the task of discovering the identity of this new ruler. The only problem: he doesn’t want to.
Evan is an escaped mental patient turned vampire who goes by the name RAMSES and has a warped hatred for cats. He likes staying up late, getting wasted and generally enjoying having superpowers, but his clan leader is threatening him with exile if he doesn’t prove his worth; something that apparently means more than sneaking into old ladies’ houses and eating their pets.
To help him in this gargantuan change of character, the clan leader has hired KENEMPTI, a powerful sorceress with the demeanour of a headmistress. She is riddled with anxieties of her forgotten past and determined to find answers, but didn’t count on having to endure the leers from perpetual teenagers.
Torn between a desire to rebel and his crush on her, Ramses plays along and helps investigate the Prince. Before long, they become embroiled in a sinister plot hatched by an ancient tyrant risen from the grave and find themselves knee deep in dragon filth. Can one lone undead slacker learn some responsibility and halt the next Great War or is the city of Londinium set to turn into a giant meat grinder as civilisation implodes?

